Wednesday, May 27, 2009

im ripping myself apart. On one hand a small part of me believes that everything will be alright but yet mostly i cant bring myself. i just feel so unsure. so guilty. regretful. pls stop... just go away.. so much past influenece, present studies, expections. so many things i regretted doing as a kid... so bothered im the cause of dispute not a gd role model. so helpless unable to help so powerless... so unhappy.... too many scars etched on me. y cant i just get anything done right... so restricted... caged up.... so unhappy at myself i hate what i am... go away go away go away why is my voice not heard... am i really so invisible?

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {7:20 PM}
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i cant get things right, i cant be wad ppl want. i cant even be wad i want. im such a failure, so unable to get things right. falling in a black pit of despair..... why????

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {12:14 AM}
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Monday, May 25, 2009

it hurts... it hurts so much... just fade away dissapear get out of my mind.... just want to run away... dun want to see it anymore it hurts too much... too much pain... go away go away go away just go away.... *whimpers and cuddle up*

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {7:02 PM}
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Thursday, May 21, 2009

i really dunno... life is so unpredictable at times. im frustrated and so full of raging emotions... bitterness, hopelessness, kanashii, hurt and many more. so mentally tired. want to run away. dun want to care. i just want to rest. i dun wanna bother bout this stuff anymore.

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {8:49 PM}
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Sunday, May 17, 2009

i feel really down. torn in two ways... cant decide. i have no idea wad i want of myself.. wad i expect. what i think.. what i want my life to be. i noe im not suppose to, but i cant help but get depressed and rant... and during a my ranting i think i might have spoiled a friendship... feel really bad bout it.. really guilty really depressed and down... even though im suppose to look ahead and walk on

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {6:02 AM}
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Monday, May 11, 2009

Hmm since im bored i shall post some of my fav songs and tell why i like them... So it will be one song per post...
The one im picking today is Yuna Ito reason why

Reason WhyLyrics: Kaori FukanoMusic: Koichi TsutayaFrom the single I'm Here
Take me back and I'll never let go
Take me back and I'll never look back
Cause you're keeping me strong
Cause you're keeping me alive
You're the reason why, I can't walk away again

*1 Take me back and I'll never leave you
Take me back and I'll never hurt you
I am always by your side
I will be here till the end
Just wait for me, never let you down again

Tick tick tock, and turn back the clock
The Times running out and slipping away
They can't stop me now, I'm moving along
And all I see is the light up ahead

Ring ring ring, and hear the bell ring
Now no turning back and no crying no more
I cross my heart I promise you now
You are not alone believe what I say

Now I see you standing looking out for me
The reflection you look at me in your heart,in my heart forever

*2 Take me back and I'll never let go
Take me back and I'll never look back
Cause you're keeping me strong
Cause you're keeping me alive
You're the reason why, I can't let you go again

*1 repeat

Zig zig zag, I'm losing my way
Lost in emotion, hearts pounding away
Tell me why, I'm falling apart
I need you here, need you right by my side

Click click click, I found my way out
So clear and so bright, It's just waiting for me
Believe what is right, believe in yourself
I'll guide you out, just follow me out

Now I see you standing reaching out to me
Everyday is so special to,only you, just for you forever
*2 repeat

*3 Take me back and I'll never leave you
Take me back and I'll never hurt you
I am always by your side
I will be here till the end
Just wait for me,never let you down again,take me back again

Now I see you standing looking out for me
The reflection you look at me in your heart, in my heart forever

*2 repeat*3 repeat twice

The reason why i liked this song is because i was feeling down and really sucky and this gave me a reason why, to keep on fighting.

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {7:52 PM}
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Sunday, May 10, 2009

Recently i had a good talk with a fren... frm that talk i found again the faintest flicker of hope. I thought bout many things... from it i realised that change was necessary so im trying my best to change now... use my unhealable scars to push myself forward. to motivate myself to look to the future. I will put in my best to try and give myself a more postive outlook and to actually smile and look into the sunlight and walk forward... not easy cuz right now im hanging in the middle... neither here nor there.

FairyTales are beautiful lies ; {6:04 AM}
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